Thursday, December 23, 2010

Oops! Santa Claus Hit by Aircraft

Yes Virgina, there was a Santa Claus
There will be no Christmas this year, so please tell your children, unfortunately, Santa's Sleigh and reindeer were taken out during a routine training mission the other day over New York City. Unfortunately, I am sad to say, there was a Mid-Air collision with an airliner full of passengers. The aircraft took off from La Guardia and climbed to approximately 4,200 feet AGL (above ground level) according to the NTSB (National Transportation Safety Board) where it struck Santa Claus.

The visibility was not a factor, as it was a perfectly clear day. The pilots did not see the Bright Red Sleigh or rotary beacon, or even the flashing red nose of Rudolph. Apparently, they were busy text-messaging to Paris Hilton's Twitter account, while the other was talking to a real estate salesman about buying a new Lake Tahoe second home REO, which was heading into foreclosure.

"Oh, it was just a horrible mess and most of the reindeer were sucked into the large engines," said Margret Morgan-Winthrop a first class passenger on the jet. She also said, "But, the engines didn't quit because they are GE Jet Engines and did I tell you, I have stock in GE. Too bad Santa wasn't using GE Engines too, instead of that old reindeer technology, he really should have upgraded," she added.

The pilots claimed the passengers were never in danger and they did not overfly the airport like the other incompetent crew recently, nor did they have to ditch in the Hudson, because this was a Boeing Aircraft, and even with the debris in the engine from all those reindeer, the airliner continued on its way. At first, the FAA assumed it was a terrorist strike from an Islamic Radical group which hijacked a business jet, so they shut down the national aviation computer system, claiming it was a glitch.

Later, they turned it all back on, thankfully, so no one else was inconvenienced. Unfortunately, as you know Santa is gone and there will be no Christmas this year. Santa Claus LLC is seeking Stimulus Bailout money to prevent a bankruptcy now in light of this news.

If you don't appreciate this news now, you will when you receive your credit card statements!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please note that this blog is moderated and that all comments are reviewed and approved before they are displayed. NO comment with a commercial link will be accepted!